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   The
 Family

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The Power of Self-Government
By Dr. Patti Amsden
     I have raised five children.  My experience does not necessarily  make me wise, but accumulated knowledge applied to my life’s experience has  yielded some fruit of wisdom.  The Bible declares that knowledge,  understanding, and wisdom are primary building blocks of life.  Human  disciplines, such as mathematics and science, also stress the importance of
these fundamentals.  
    Early in my life of parenting, I discovered a  primary and indisputable pearl of wisdom:  self-government is learned  through parental discipline.  In applying discipline, my role was not that  of the punisher for unacceptable deeds.  My role was to train my child in  the ability to self-discipline.  That may sound contradictory, as I was the  big one carrying the “big stick.”  However, if pain was the only lesson my  child learned, I had failed to obtain the greater goal.
     Discipline must  never include the element of power struggle.  Doubtless, the adult is the  greater power who can yell louder or exert the stronger physical pressure.   Pain can be inflicted through power struggles, but no knowledge of
self-government is cultivated.  The child is taught that might makes  right.  Bullying, intimidation, threats of violence, or other such physical  displays of rulership are learned and will undoubtedly be practiced upon the  child’s siblings or peers.  Such inculcation builds adults who are inclined  toward crime on a societal level or anarchy on a governmental level.
     To  avoid power struggles, the child should be taught to submit to discipline, which  is to be meted out in just and controlled doses.  Whether a parent is  applying a time out or a rod of correction, the child must be brought to a
posture of compliance, thus signifying that the child has activated  self-control, acknowledged the hierarchy structure, and chosen submission in a  spirit of humility.  Such inculcation builds adults who are of great value  in the market place and priceless in relationships.
     Training the child  in self-restraint is accomplished by the proper use of correction and through  the example set by the parent.  A child who has learned to control his or  her spirit in the pre-school years, will more easily implement the skill of
self-discipline to scholastics, in the rigors of athletics, and throughout  hormonal changes.  During the teenage years when the child’s volition must  be matured, the parent’s role shifts to more of a guide and counselor.  If  power struggles are still the preferred mode of pedagogue with a teen, the  parents have almost forfeited the opportunity to train the child in
self-control.
     A self-governed child produces a self-governed  adult.  A self-governed adult does not need to be forced into compliance by  the threat of violence from an external parent figure, because the self-governed  adult will voluntarily embrace and apply truth.  A family of  self-controlled persons is peaceful and gratifying.  A business of  self-controlled workers is productive and prosperous.  A nation of  self-controlled citizens is law abiding and freedom seeking. 


Principle:  The family unit is the core value-setting place within a
culture.  The wisdom of self-government or the folly of power struggles
results from the application of parental discipline.  (Prov. 16:32)

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